Overcoming perfectionism in schools: A guide to being kinder to yourself

For school business managers and other education professionals, there is rarely a shortage of things that need doing. Budgets, procurement, staffing, compliance, premises and last-minute requests can all compete for attention. When you naturally hold yourself to very high standards, that pressure can make it difficult to decide when a task is genuinely finished.

Being conscientious and wanting to do your best can be a strength. Perfectionism becomes less helpful when the need to get everything exactly right causes unnecessary stress, prevents you from starting a task or leads to consistently working beyond reasonable limits.

The Department for Education’s Education Staff Wellbeing Charter recognises the importance of protecting and promoting the wellbeing and mental health of everyone working in education, including support staff.

So, how can you keep your high standards without expecting the impossible from yourself?

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is more than simply wanting to do a good job. It can involve setting extremely high standards for yourself, placing too much importance on mistakes or feeling that anything less than perfect represents failure.

In a school setting, that might mean spending far longer than necessary checking a report, worrying excessively about a small mistake, struggling to delegate because somebody else may complete the task differently, or continuing to work long after your planned finishing time.

The important distinction is between striving to do your best and feeling that only perfection is acceptable.

The first can motivate you. The second can leave you exhausted.

Why can perfectionism be difficult in schools?

Schools are busy, unpredictable environments. Priorities can change quickly and school business managers often have responsibilities spanning several different areas at once.

That means perfection is not always realistic.

A budget spreadsheet might need another check, but an urgent premises issue has appeared. You might want to rewrite a document again, but payroll has a fixed deadline. A carefully planned afternoon can disappear because something unexpected needs your attention.

Perfectionism can make these situations harder because it becomes difficult to accept that some tasks need to be completed to a good, appropriate standard rather than an impossibly high one.

Learning to recognise where your time makes the greatest difference is an important professional skill.

What are the signs that you might be a perfectionist?

Perfectionism looks different for everyone, but there are some common habits you may recognise.

1. You are highly critical of yourself

Do you immediately notice the one thing that went wrong rather than everything that went well?

Perfectionists can focus heavily on mistakes and overlook their achievements. A small error can begin to feel much more significant than it really is.

Try asking yourself whether you would judge a colleague as harshly for making the same mistake.

2. You set unrealistic standards

Working in a school comes with responsibility, and high standards matter. However, high standards should still be achievable.

Expecting yourself to complete every task perfectly, respond immediately to every request and continually work outside your normal hours is unlikely to be sustainable.

A useful question is:

What does a good and appropriate outcome look like for this particular task?

Not every job requires the same amount of time or attention.

3. You have a strong fear of failure

When anything less than perfect feels like failure, starting something new can become intimidating.

You may spend too long planning, checking or worrying about how a task will turn out instead of beginning it.

Remember that completing a piece of work gives you something to improve. Waiting for the perfect starting point often does not.

4. You procrastinate

Procrastination and perfectionism can go hand in hand.

If you believe a task must be completed perfectly, it can become so daunting that you avoid it altogether.

Breaking large jobs into smaller actions can help. Rather than writing “complete budget report” on your to-do list, identify the first manageable step you need to take.

5. You focus entirely on the end result

Perfectionists can become so focused on the finished product that they overlook what they have learnt along the way.

Not every successful piece of work will look exactly as you imagined when you started.

Give yourself permission to adjust your approach, learn and improve as you go.

6. Your self-esteem becomes linked to your work

A difficult day at work does not mean you are bad at your job.

If you regularly judge your personal worth according to whether every task has gone perfectly, it may be worth challenging that thinking.

NHS Every Mind Matters recommends recognising and reframing unhelpful thoughts rather than automatically accepting them as facts.

How can school business managers manage perfectionism?

Recognising perfectionist habits is a useful first step. The next is finding practical ways to prevent them from controlling your working day.

Set realistic deadlines and create a schedule

School business managers tend to be organised because the role demands it. However, being organised is not only about managing everyone else’s deadlines; it also means protecting your own time.

Decide how long a task reasonably deserves before you begin.

A weekly planner can help you allocate time to different priorities, while a notebook or simple task list can help break larger pieces of work into manageable steps.

Instead of:

“Make this perfect.”

Try:

“Complete a good first version by 2pm, review it once and then move on.”

Structure removes some of the uncertainty that feeds perfectionism.

Remember: you can only do what you can do

There are only so many useful working hours in a day.

Regularly extending your day because you feel you should have completed more is unlikely to solve an unrealistic workload. Sometimes the answer is not working faster or longer; it is reassessing priorities.

Identify:

• what genuinely needs completing today;
• what can wait;
• what can be delegated;
• what can be simplified; and
• what does not need doing at all.

The Department for Education provides dedicated workload and wellbeing resources for schools and encourages leaders to consider whether working practices are manageable and proportionate.

Talk to yourself as you would a colleague

Think about what you say to yourself after making a mistake.

Would you speak to a colleague in the same way?

Probably not.

Try replacing harsh statements such as “I always get this wrong” with something more balanced:

“I made a mistake, I know how to correct it and I can learn from it.”

You could keep useful reminders in your workspace, on sticky notes or in your notebook if seeing them helps you challenge unhelpful thoughts.

Being kinder to yourself does not mean lowering your professional standards. It means responding to difficulties realistically rather than attacking yourself for being human.

Treat mistakes as opportunities to learn

We regularly remind pupils that making mistakes is part of learning, but adults are not always as willing to apply the same principle to themselves.

When something goes wrong, ask:

• What happened?
• What can I learn from it?
• Does anything need correcting?
• What could I do differently next time?

Then move on.

Repeatedly replaying an error does not make you more professional. Learning from it does.

Make self-care part of your routine

Self-care does not have to mean doing anything elaborate.

It could mean finishing work when you said you would, going for a walk, reading, exercising, spending time on a hobby or simply having an evening when you are not checking emails.

NHS Every Mind Matters recommends building regular habits that support mental wellbeing and recognising the approaches that help you manage stressful periods.

Put enjoyable activities into your schedule just as deliberately as you would a meeting or deadline.

Practise saying no

This is often one of the hardest parts.

School business managers want to be helpful, and working collaboratively is an important part of school life. But agreeing to every request can eventually mean that important priorities suffer.

Before automatically saying yes, ask:

• How urgent is this?
• How long will it take?
• Does it sit within my responsibilities?
• What will need to move if I accept it?
• Could somebody else help?

Education Support’s guidance on setting boundaries reminds school staff that helping colleagues does not mean accepting every request and recommends being clear about priorities, capacity and realistic expectations.

Saying no politely is not the same as being unhelpful.

Look back at what you have already achieved

When your current to-do list feels overwhelming, look backwards for a moment.

Think about the difficult deadlines, inspections, year ends, staffing problems, procurement challenges and unexpected school emergencies you have already worked through.

You have probably completed some fairly extraordinary to-do lists before.

Remembering previous successes can help put the task in front of you into perspective.

Congratulate yourself on a job well done

Not a perfect job.

A good job.

When something goes well, acknowledge it rather than immediately moving on to the next problem.

Give yourself a bloomin’ good pat on the back occasionally. Your role is demanding, and recognising your own achievements is just as important as identifying what needs improving.

What common mistakes should you avoid when trying to overcome perfectionism?

One mistake is trying to become a “perfect non-perfectionist”.

You are not trying to eliminate every high standard or stop caring about your work. The aim is to recognise where your standards are helping and where they are making your work unnecessarily difficult.

Avoid:

• replacing one rigid routine with another;
• expecting habits to change immediately;
• treating every mistake as evidence that your approach is not working;
• continuing to accept an unrealistic workload while only changing your personal coping strategies; and
• comparing your workload or achievements constantly with colleagues.

Perfectionism is rarely solved by putting another impossible expectation on yourself.

Small, repeatable changes are more useful.

How can schools support staff who struggle with perfectionism?

Individual strategies are useful, but staff wellbeing should not depend entirely on individuals becoming better at coping with excessive pressure.

Leaders can help by creating realistic expectations around workload, encouraging staff to discuss capacity openly and making it psychologically safe to admit mistakes or ask for support.

Clear priorities are particularly important. If everything is labelled urgent, staff have little opportunity to decide where their time will have the greatest impact.

Schools can also review workload, encourage healthy professional boundaries and ensure staff know where wellbeing and mental health support is available.

The Education Staff Wellbeing Charter provides a framework schools and colleges in England can use to strengthen their approach to staff wellbeing, while Education Support provides dedicated resources for education professionals and school leaders.

When should you seek additional support?

Perfectionism is not simply about being organised or ambitious. If your thoughts or working habits are contributing to persistent stress, anxiety, low mood or difficulty coping with everyday life, consider speaking to a healthcare professional.

You can also access mental health information through NHS Every Mind Matters.

Education Support provides a free, confidential 24-hour helpline for teachers, lecturers and education staff across the UK on 08000 562 561.

You do not need to wait until things become unmanageable before asking for help.

How does GLS support schools in this area?

Perfectionism cannot be solved with stationery, systems or another item on your to-do list. Schools also need realistic workloads, supportive leadership and a culture in which staff feel comfortable discussing capacity and wellbeing.

What practical tools can do is remove some of the unnecessary friction from a busy working day.

A clear filing system, organised school office, simple weekly planner or well-arranged desk organiser can make it easier to see priorities, find what you need and keep routine administration under control.

GLS works with schools every day, so we understand that school staff are often balancing competing demands rather than working through one neat task at a time. Our approach is simple: provide practical support for the everyday realities of education without pretending there is a one-size-fits-all answer.

Schools. We get you.

Conclusion

Wanting to do a good job is a positive quality, particularly in a role with as much responsibility as school business management. But doing your best does not mean expecting perfection from yourself every day.

Set realistic priorities, protect your time, learn from mistakes, practise saying no and recognise what you achieve.

Sometimes “good and done” really is better than “perfect but exhausting”.